When Your Faith Feels Too Small: What I Learned from Gideon's Doubts

My Secret Struggle with Feeling 'Not Enough' for God

I vividly remember a specific moment back in 2019, during a particularly tough season of professional uncertainty. I felt God nudging me towards a new path, one that seemed utterly terrifying and far beyond my capabilities. I was sitting in a coffee shop in downtown Nashville, the clatter of cups and hushed conversations swirling around me, but all I could hear was the relentless voice of inadequacy in my head. You don't have the experience. You're not smart enough. You'll fail. It was paralyzing. I kept thinking, Surely God has someone else in mind, someone more qualified, someone whose faith doesn't waver like a leaf in the wind. I felt like a fraud, a Christian writer whose own spiritual well felt dangerously dry. This constant battle with feeling undersized for God's big plans is, I believe, a shared human experience, one that even some of the most prominent bible characters faced.

Gideon: The Reluctant Hero Who Questioned Everything

It was during this period of intense self-doubt that I revisited the story of Gideon in the book of Judges. I’d read it countless times before, but this time, it resonated with a raw, personal sting. Here was a man, hiding in a winepress, threshing wheat to escape the Midianites, when an angel of the Lord appears.

Let's read the passage from Judges 6:11-16:

"Now the angel of the Lord came and sat under the terebinth at Ophrah, which belonged to Joash the Abiezrite, while his son Gideon was beating out wheat in the winepress to hide it from the Midianites. And the angel of the Lord appeared to him and said, 'The Lord is with you, O mighty man of valor.' And Gideon said to him, 'Please, my lord, if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us? And where are all his wonderful deeds that our fathers recounted to us, saying, "Did not the Lord bring us up from Egypt?" But now the Lord has forsaken us and given us into the hand of Midian.' And the Lord turned to him and said, 'Go in this your strength and save Israel from the hand of Midian; do not I send you?' And he said to him, 'Please, Lord, how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father's house.' And the Lord said to him, 'But I will be with you, and you shall strike the Midianites as one man.'"

The Angel's Astonishing Greeting: 'Mighty Warrior' to a Harvester in Hiding, and How Does That Make Sense?

Imagine Gideon’s surprise. He’s literally hiding, doing farm work in a covert manner, and he’s greeted as a "mighty man of valor." I often laugh at this part, because it’s exactly how I feel when God calls me to something big. Mighty warrior? Me? Are you sure you have the right person? Gideon's immediate response wasn't a confident "Yes, Lord!" but a series of questions and complaints. He’s asking, "'Please, my lord, if the Lord is with us, why then has all this happened to us?'" This wasn't some spiritual giant. This was a man filled with doubt, questioning God's presence and His past actions. He felt, just like I did that day in the coffee shop, completely unqualified.

Gideon's Fleeces: Why His Doubts Were More Relatable Than We Think, and Why God Tolerated Them?

Gideon wasn't just a doubter; he was a persistent doubter. He asked for not one, but two fleeces as signs from God. First, for the fleece to be wet with dew while the ground around it was dry. Then, for the exact opposite. If I’m honest, I’ve had my own fleece moments. Not literal fleeces, but moments where I’ve desperately prayed, "God, if this is truly you, please give me a clear sign." These aren’t necessarily signs of lack of faith, but often a deep yearning for reassurance in the face of overwhelming uncertainty. As GotQuestions.org explains, Gideon’s requests, while seemingly lacking faith, were met with God's patience and affirmation. God didn't rebuke him for his doubts; He met him where he was.

God's Call Doesn't Depend on Our Strength, But His

What I learned from Gideon is that God’s call isn’t dependent on my perceived strength, my qualifications, or even the current state of my faith. It’s entirely dependent on His strength and His faithfulness. When Gideon said, "'Please, Lord, how can I save Israel? My clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father's house,'" God's response was simple and profound: "'But I will be with you.'" That sentence became a lifeline for me. It wasn't about Gideon's ability; it was about God's presence.

From Fear to Faith: How Gideon's Story Empowers My Own Weaknesses

Understanding Gideon's journey has been transformative for my own struggles with inadequacy. It’s helped me recognize that my "Gideon moments"—those times when I feel small, weak, and utterly unqualified—are precisely when God can shine brightest. It’s not about pretending to have it all together, but about humbly acknowledging my limitations and inviting God’s power to work through them. Just as the Lord empowered one of the most unlikely bible characters, He empowers me. Learning more about the historical context and meaning of these passages, often through resources like The Bible Project, has deepened this understanding significantly.

Practical Steps: Embracing Your 'Gideon Moments' with God

So, when your faith feels too small, or you feel "not enough" for God's call, here are some practical steps I’ve found helpful:

1. Acknowledge Your Doubts, Don't Bury Them: Like Gideon, be honest with God about your fears and uncertainties. He already knows them. Journal about them, talk to a trusted friend, or simply pour them out in prayer.
2. Revisit God's Promises: Remind yourself of who God says He is and what He has promised. His character is unchanging, even when our circumstances or feelings are in flux. I often reflect on verses like Philippians 4:13 or Isaiah 41:10.
3. Remember Past Faithfulness: Think back to times God has shown up for you in the past. These personal "stones of remembrance" can be powerful anchors when you're adrift in doubt.
4. Take One Small Step of Obedience: Gideon didn't immediately lead an army. He took steps, one by one. What is one small, obedient step God is asking of you today, despite your fears? It might be a conversation, a prayer, or simply showing up.
5. Lean into Community: Share your struggles with a trusted spiritual mentor or small group. There is immense strength and encouragement in knowing you're not alone in your doubts.

Dear reader, if you’re in a season of feeling like your faith is too small, or that you’re simply not enough for God’s purposes, I want you to know you’re in good company. Many great bible characters shared this struggle. God doesn't call the equipped; He equips the called. May Gideon's story be a powerful reminder that God's strength is made perfect in our weakness.

What "Gideon moment" are you currently facing, and how can you invite God's "I will be with you" into it?